Nullifiying the Smith-Mundt Act of 1948 with NDAA 2012. Now Uncle Sam can advertise wars to me directly on my favorite channels! Caring about killing people I don’t care about just got easier!
– Bill 78. Come on, Canada, is Mexico going to be the freest NAFTA country? Fucking MEXICO?
– HR 347: Liberty in a blackshirt. (I mean, seriously, MEXICO?)
– The Platt Ammendment. For a cozy vacation spot right in our own backyard! [May require enhanced interrogation for an unspecifiedamountoftime.]
– Florence v. Board of Chosen Freeholders of the County of Burlington: Justice Kennedy, is there a gavel hidden anywhere about your person? Or a conscience? Lets lift those robes, bend those knees and have a look. No peeking, Scalia!
– Fake vaccination programs in Abbottabad. Take that, un-vacci- nated people who think they’ve been vaccinated!
– Secure Communities. Communities so secure they are moni- tored by DHS! Just to make sure, and stuff.
– That splendid little war. All of ‘em.
1. Presidential Signing Statement, NDAA 2012: I can lock you away from mommy and daddy forevermore – but I won’t! Totally I won’t. Like, I promise, okay? Okay? It’s just that some guy in the future might need to. Like me. In the future. Because the future
is now. I’m forward thinking like that. Hey, I always said I was into change.
2. Oh and also that thing out in the desert
in Utah that’s collecting our lives in digital format. The Utah Data Center – just look how unthreatening the name of the facility is! But just in case. Like for in the future and stuff. Come on guys, you know what I mean. Might have to get the goods on you sooner or later. And you, too, probably. Probably sooner than later, really, if I’m being honest. And who isn’t?
3. Air Flight 655.
4. Charity Case’s 5th grade in-school spank- ing. Thanks, Miss Le Crouse! And to Mr. Fos- tah, who was looking on as ‘witness’ – how you like that ass, baby?