1. Presidential Signing Statement, NDAA 2012: I can lock you away from mommy and daddy forevermore – but I won’t! Totally I won’t. Like, I promise, okay? Okay? It’s just that some guy in the future might need to. Like me. In the future. Because the future
is now. I’m forward thinking like that. Hey, I always said I was into change.
2. Oh and also that thing out in the desert
in Utah that’s collecting our lives in digital format. The Utah Data Center – just look how unthreatening the name of the facility is! But just in case. Like for in the future and stuff. Come on guys, you know what I mean. Might have to get the goods on you sooner or later. And you, too, probably. Probably sooner than later, really, if I’m being honest. And who isn’t?
3. Air Flight 655.
4. Charity Case’s 5th grade in-school spank- ing. Thanks, Miss Le Crouse! And to Mr. Fos- tah, who was looking on as ‘witness’ – how you like that ass, baby?